custody1

Critical Review of

Preparing For Child Custody Cases

by Randall Watters

The following is presented as a public service to warn the online community about the secret attempts of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society (Jehovah's Witnesses) to deceive the courts in their favor during child custody trials, which are often Witness Parent vs. Non-Witness Parent. Because the courts have historically not viewed with favor a family situation where children are deprived of normal interaction and social skills, the Watchtower thus attempts to portray the Witness household as "normal," i.e., giving children the same opportunity for healthy growth and social maturity as in any other household. While the Watchtower and its attorneys may thus "coach" its followers on what to say in court to convey this impression, the evidence (right out of the Watchtower publications themselves) reveals that the Watchtower has a history of cruel and restrictive rules and taboos that can cause severe disfunctionality in children who grow up in such a restricted and oppressive environment.

This section of the Watchtower's booklet is the "Introduction" and a list of questions that a Witness parent may be asked in court. In the next file, linked at the end of these pages, you will find the Watchtower's "sample" responses for the parent to give under cross-examination. The text of the booklet is always represented in black type font, and my comments are made in red. Quotations from Watchtower publications will be in green text. Most of my comments are contained in the sections designated as "sample responses" by the Watchtower.

Certain paragraphs throughout the booklet will be highlighted in blue and underlined, and is my way of conveying to you some counter points regarding what the Watchtower is saying, or is a link to related information. Just click once on the blue text, and use your "back" button on your browser to return after you are finished.

Since almost all my references in challenging their stated position are taken out of recent Watchtowers from the last 15 years or so, and since every Jehovah's Witness can obtain the entire text of the Watchtower and Awake! magazines for the last 20 years or so, there is no need to photodocument their statements, for they can be verified by any Jehovah's Witness who has a library or their 1993 or 1995 CD-ROM of Watchtower publications. Quotes are reproduced for the benefit of the reader in order to see what they have said on the issue. Page numbers are indicated in green, after each page, for the sake of reference. If a paragraph is split by a page break, the page number indicator falls after the end of said paragraph, rather than in the midst of it, to facilitate reading. Most of my commentary will be found in the "Sample Response" areas rather than among the lists of questions that the Witness may be asked in court.

Randall Watters

INTRODUCTION

This booklet is designed to help you and your attorney prepare for the difficulties Christian parents often face in child custody disputes. In the eyes of the law, the overriding concern in every custody suit is the welfare and best interests of the child. In deciding which parent will better provide for a child's best interests, courts will examine all aspects of the child's physical, emotional, and spiritual welfare in either household. Thus your religious practices and teachings as one of Jehovah's Witnesses will probably be a subject of inquiry by your former spouse and the court.

Opposers often focus attention on refusal to consent to blood transfusions, holidays and birthday celebrations, arguing that Witness children are deprived of a "normal" upbringing. There is no need to hide or distort your religious beliefs and practices in the face of such criticism. When giving an answer, always try to focus on the positive aspects of your religious beliefs, showing how they have benefited you and your family. (Isa. 48:17) Be sure to answer questions regarding such subjects in a way that is both understandable and reasonable, accurately presenting the wholesomeness of the Christian home. --1 Pet. 3:15.

This booklet will also help you prepare for psychological examinations that frequently are required as part of a child custody determination. Having some idea of the type of questions a psychologist may ask should help you handle the examination naturally and without undue anxiety.

Disputes over child custody can be an ordeal for Christian parents. But with preparation and reliance on Jehovah, you need not be without hope, knowing that in the end Jehovah will set all matters straight.--Ps. 43:1; 1 Pet. 3:12.

(Preface)

SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS THAT WITNESS PARENT COULD FACE

Holidays:

When answering questions about holidays, we want to remember that many people view our religion as a litany of negative responses. Therefore, whenever possible, add some positive statement which emphasizes the benefit to ourselves and our children when we refrain from a celebration or holiday. For example, rather than simply saying, "No, I don't celebrate Christmas," you may respond in the affirmative, "After a careful investigation of the Scriptures and the historical background of Christmas, my family and I concluded that the celebration of Christmas was not necessary to have God's approval. We have decided not to limit our gift-giving and family gatherings to specific predetermined dates, but would rather enjoy these activities year round."

[Note: As trivial as it may sound to some, the holiday issue divides many families, and is the source of temper flares and bad feelings among those in the family who do not see things the Watchtower way, as it most often conveys a sense of snobbery.]

On the subject of holidays you may face questions such as the following:

Do Jehovah's Witnesses celebrate Christmas? Thanksgiving? Easter? Birthdays? Halloween? Mother's Day? Father's Day? Valentine's Day? New Year's Day? St. Patrick's Day? Why?
Are not your children deprived of the Christmas spirit?
Most of the children in your child's class celebrate Christmas . . ., etc.?
Is it difficult for children to feel different than their classmates and school friends?
So is it difficult for children to be Jehovah's Witnesses?
In fact, is it difficult for you at times to feel different and to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses?

Religion:

Many try to portray the beliefs and practices of Jehovah's Witnesses as dogmatic and restrictive. When answering questions about your religious beliefs and practices, emphasize the fact that you have formed your beliefs and adopted your practices after much study and reflection your religion is not simply a matter of rules

which have been imposed by the elders. You want to emphasize the fact that you are a thinking, well-balanced, and reasonable individual who is competent to act as a parent. Avoid any response which gives the impression that you are unwilling or unable to provide for your child's best interests because of your religious beliefs.

[Note: The court generally wants to determine if something else will precede the child's best interests in terms of mental and physical health. Will necessary medical attention be withheld in emergencies? Will the child be raised with dogmatic and narrow views of other human beings and their religions and customs? Will the children grow up to fear invisible "spirits" and beleive that they somehow influence their lives daily, causing them to act abnormal or antisocial? Will the child view the people of his religious beliefs as the only ones who ultimately have the right to live and enjoy life?

As you will see later, their pre-planned "responses" actually play down and even fully deny their dogmatism as expounded in their own literature.]

On the subject of religion you may face questions such as the following:

Do you believe you have the only right religion?
Do you believe the Catholic (or other) Church is true or false?
Do you believe all false religion is under the control of Satan?
Is the Catholic (or other) Church under the control of Satan?
Are Catholics (or whoever) under the control of Satan?
How do you feel about your ex-wife/husband who is not one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Is he/she under the control of Satan?
What do you teach your child about your ex-wife/husband?
Will God destroy all false religion?
As one of Jehovah's Witnesses, do you believe that only Jehovah's Witnesses will be saved?
Will all Catholics (or whoever) be destroyed?
Will you teach your child that his father's/mother's religious beliefs are wrong?
Will you teach your child that his father/mother will be destroyed by God if he/she does not become one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Will you teach your child that there is a risk that his father/mother will be destroyed by God?
Is it true that there are great differences between beliefs of Catholics (or whoever) and Jehovah's Witnesses?

In fact, you left the Catholic (or other) Church to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Can you be one of Jehovah's Witnesses and a Catholic (or whatever) at the same time?
If you cannot be one of Jehovah's Witnesses and a Catholic (or whatever) at the same time, how can you expect your child to be?
Will you teach your child that both your church and the Catholic (or other) Church are right?
Won't your child be confused by being taught two religions?
If your son was participating in a play or another special event at the Catholic (or other) Church, would you attend?
Do you respect all religions?
If a member of your family was being baptized, married, or a family funeral service was being given in the Catholic (or other) Church, would you attend ?
How is this .showing respect for the Catholic (or other) Church or your family?
If you respect all religions, why do you go from house-to-house trying to convert people?
How would you feel if your child decided he did not want to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses and chose to belong to another church?
Would you still love your child?
Do you teach your child only about the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Do you believe that your child should learn about other religions?
If your child, out of curiosity, decided he wanted to attend the services of another church, would you allow him to? Would you accompany him?

Blood:

Some confuse our stand on the use of blood and blood products with the position of religions that believe in faith healing and refuse all medical treatment. You want to show that you are a loving, caring parent who wants the best medical care possible for your child. Explain that you are aware of many serious and possibly fatal dangers from blood and that you have made arrangements with your doctor to provide alternative non-blood management for your child. Acknowledge that your former mate properly has a right to participate and have a say in any medical decisions involving your child. Stress the fact that you want the best available medical treatment for yourself and your child and that avoidance of blood, in your opinion and the opinion of many in the medical community, is a sound, healthful course.

[Note: The Watchtower position on blood is very inconsistent. At the time of this writing, many members of the JW's Hospital Liasons Committee are planning a class-action lawsuit against the Watchtower for wrongful death of persons under their own supervision!]

Do you believe that every word of the Bible is literally true?
Do you teach that it is better to die than to take a blood transfusion?
You claim that there are alternatives; what is the alternative where someone loses blood in a car accident?
How do you know there are alternatives?
Is it true that only a minority of doctors are willing to try alternative, bloodless treatment?
Do most doctors recommend blood transfusions?
Isn't it true that it may not be possible to find a doctor who will use bloodless alternatives? What if the only available doctor said there were no alternatives? Would you prefer to die?
Would you ever consent to your child being given a blood transfusion?
What if the doctors said your child would die without a blood transfusion?
If the doctors told you that your child needed a blood transfusion, would you advise and consult your ex-wife/husband?

How would you feel if your ex-wife/husband consented to your child being given a blood transfusion ?
Would you suffer any religious penalty if you or your child were given a blood transfusion?
Would you be subject to alienation or disapproval from church members if you or your child were given a blood transfusion?
Would you still love your child, even if he/she was given a blood transfusion?

Governments:

The stand which Jehovah's Witnesses take regarding governments is often misunderstood. When responding to questions regarding your view of government, accentuate the positive -- you pay all your taxes, you are honest and law abiding, you do not involve yourself in civil disobedience, and you believe that the superior authorities, including court officials, should be obeyed and are worthy of our honour and respect.

[Note: Witnesses are taught to believe that Satan controls all the governments of the world. This has landed them in prison in many countries, since people are generally classified as either for or against a particular government. When they will not vote, carry office, join the military, or salute the flag, this is understandably viewed by many governments as seditious.]

Do you believe the governments of this world are controlled by Satan?
Are the judge and this court controlled by Satan?
Do you believe God will destroy the governments of this world?
Do you vote?
Do you stand up for the National Anthem/salute the flag?
If your country is at war, would you fight in the military?
Do you believe that you will be persecuted for your beliefs?
What kind of persecution do you expect and from whom ?
Do you teach your child that he will be persecuted for his beliefs? Is that healthy for your child?

Is your child frightened by the prospect of persecution?

Satan:

Many do not consider Satan to be a real person and will find your belief in Satan to be childish or fanatical. When giving an answer, distinguish the Bible's view of Satan from the cartoon character with a pitchfork, as many people view Satan. If people believe in God and His angels, why is it childish to believe that some angels chose to disobey God?

[Note: Satan is generally viewed in the courts as a fantasy figure only taken seriously in religious circles, and any paranoia resulting from such beliefs are viewed as unhealthy by the court.]

Is Satan the ruler of the world?
Does Satan control everyone who is not one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Is Satan powerful?
Are you afraid of Satan?
Do you teach your child about Satan? Is your child afraid of Satan?

Armageddon:

Armageddon marks a time of destruction of the wicked, as well as the beginning of Jehovah's righteous new system. Emphasize the positive aspects of the event. It is not like the frightening hellfire doctrine, which keeps the wicked in torment forever.

[Note: If fear of burning in hell was a key factor in the religious upbringing of a child, the courts may not look with favor on it. Fear of being destroyed at Armageddon for not doing enough is no different.]

Do you believe that we are living in the time of the end? Do you believe that many people and much of the world will be destroyed at Armageddon?
Will that be a frightening time?
Do you teach your child about Armageddon?
Is your child not scared/upset at the prospect of his mother/father, school friends, neighbours and himself/herself being destroyed at Armageddon?

Practices of Jehovah's Witnesses:

[Note: This centers primarily around the required meetings and study habits required of Witness' children. Most courts would not look with favor upon 10+ hours of religious instruction per week for small children.]

How many meetings do Jehovah's Witnesses have a week?

Do you attend all of these meetings?
If you did not attend all of these meetings or go out preaching, would you be subject to congregational disapproval or discipline by your elders?
Do you bring your child to all of these meetings?
Is it not correct that if your child attends your mid-week meeting he would not be in bed before 9: 45 or 10:00 p.m.? Is that not a very late night for a small child?
Isn't it difficult for n small child to sit through these long meetings? Wouldn't your child rather be playing than attending these church meetings?
Would you teach your child to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Do you hope your child will become one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Will you bring your child to all of your meetings?
Will you bring your child out in your preaching work? Every weekend? For how long?
If your child did not want to go to your church meetings, would you force him to go?
If your child did not want to go out preaching, would you force him to go?
Is it not difficult for you to go preaching at times? Do you meet some people who do not want to hear your message, who reject you and are rude to you?
If your child went preaching he at times would encounter people who disagree with him, reject him and are rude to him?
Wouldn't that be difficult for your child? Would he find that hard to endure?
Is it not harmful for children to feel rejected?
If you care about your child, why would you deliberately place him in a situation where he is bound to suffer embarrassment and rejection?

School: (May be faced with quotes from "School" Brochure)

Many feel that Jehovah's Witnesses are against education. On the contrary, the children of Jehovah's Witnesses are encouraged to make the most of their education and to become proficient in reading, writing, and analytical abilities. In fact, Jehovah's Witnesses often excel in school. You may use the Index to investigate the wide range of topics on which the Society encourages discussion and research. The Society's publications encourage our youths to be diligent and serious-minded in their studies.

[Note: When all other children except the Witness children are viewed as potentially dangerous recruiters of Satan, and that many of their art projects and holidays are those fostered and inspired by Satan, it hardly gives a healthy picture of raising children to face the world. This is an area where the Witness child is taught to use deception in answering others more than any other area.]

This booklet "School and Jehovah's Witnesses" sets out your church's beliefs in the school setting? Your church recommends that parents and children in your faith are to follow the rules set out in this booklet and that teachers should abide by them?
Isn't it true that you won't permit your child to associate with or make close friends of people who are not Jehovah's Witnesses?
Isn't it true that you won't permit your child to go to school dances? to date?
Isn't it true that you would not allow your children to participate in extracurricular activities? school plays? school bands?
Isn't it true that you would not permit your child to be a class representative or be on the school council?
Isn't it true that you would not permit your child to participate in school elections?
Isn't it true that you would not allow your child to join any school clubs?
Isn't it true that you would not allow your child to join any school teams?
Isn't it true you would not permit your child to engage in any school activities associated with national or religious holidays?
You do not permit your child to stand up for the National Anthem in school?

Your children will be very different from the majority of children in school and will be deprived of many enjoyable, healthy activities that other students enjoy?
At times your child may be mocked or alienated at school because of these beliefs?
It's not easy for a child to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses at school?
If you love your child why would you want to deprive him/her of so many activities that he/she would enjoy?
Isn't it true that you would not permit your child to attend a college or university?
Isn't it true that if your child attended a college or university he/she would face disapproval in congregation and be subject to counselling by your ministers?
Would you support your child if he/she decided to go to a college or university?
Isn't it true that you want and are going to teach your child to be a full-time minister?
That is the only career that you intend for your child?

Corporal punishment:

[Note: In recent years the JW custom of whipping children into submission at the tender ages of 3-12 while sitting in a Kingdom Hall for hours, squirming at boring lectures, has come under attack. Duh!]

As one of Jehovah's Witnesses you believe in corporal punishment?
You believe the Bible directs parents to discipline their children with a rod or stick?
You would not be a good Christian/good parent if you failed to heed that Biblical command?

Practice sessions:

Did you talk to your lawyer about this court proceeding?
Did your lawyer tell you what to say?

In this file you will find the Watchtower's "sample" responses for the parent to give under cross-examination. The text of the booklet is always represented in black type font, and my comments are made in red. Quotes from Watchtower publications are in green type, and are taken directly from the Watchtower's CD-ROM.

Certain words throughout the booklet will be highlighted in blue and underlined, and is my way of conveying to you some counter points or hyperlinks related to what the Watchtower is saying. Just click once on the blue text, then use your "back" button in your browser to return afterwards.

Since almost all my references in challenging their stated position are taken out of recent Watchtowers from the last 15 years or so, and since every Jehovah's Witness can obtain the entire text of the Watchtower and Awake! magazines for the last 20 years or so, there is no need to photodocument their statements, for they can be verified by any Jehovah's Witness who has a library or their 1993 or 1995 CD-ROM of Watchtower publications. Quotes are reproduced (green type) for the benefit of the reader in order to see what they have said on the issue. Page numbers are indicated in green, after each page, for the sake of reference. If a paragraph is split by a page break, the page number indicator falls after the end of said paragraph, rather than in the midst of it, to facilitate reading.

Randall Watters

SAMPLE APPROACH BY WITNESS PARENT TO CROSS-EXAMlNATlON

Do you believe you have the only right religion?

Of course I do. If I didn't think so I would join another.

"A third requirement is that we be associated with God’s channel, his organization. God has always used an organization. For example, only those in the ark in Noah’s day survived the Flood, and only those associated with the Christian congregation in the first century had God’s favor. (Acts 4:12) Similarly, Jehovah is using only one organization today to accomplish his will. To receive everlasting life in the earthly Paradise we must identify that organization and serve God as part of it." - WT 2/15/83, p. 12

18 We can expect a similar expansion of our preaching activity now, at this climax of the ages. No doubt, before the "great tribulation" is finished, we will see the greatest witness to God’s name and kingdom in the history of this world. And while now the witness yet includes the invitation to come to Jehovah’s organization for salvation, the time no doubt will come when the message takes on a harder tone, like a "great war cry." - WT 11/15/81, p. 21

Do you believe the Catholic (or other) Church is true or false?

I believe its teachings are in error.

"If religion and politics are part of Satan’s system, is it not foolish to believe that the entertainment promoted by the world is free of his influence?" - WT 8/1/86, p. 14

"In this series of articles we have considered several aspects of the world’s religions. On the one hand, we have seen that although there are so many religions today, they have developed from the same source of false Babylonish religion and thus are producing fruitage that is disappointing. On the other hand, we have investigated the alternatives, namely, disbelief, agnosticism and atheism, and found that these and other substitute "religions" cannot truly satisfy man’s needs.

"Being confronted by this situation in world religion, what will you do? Will you be like the person described in Psalm 10:4, who "makes no search" because "all his ideas are: ‘There is no God’"? Or will you be willing to accept the invitation extended to you by Jehovah’s Witnesses and search for the true God and the religion that he approves?" - Awake! 1/8/84, p. 14

Will all Catholics (or others) be destroyed?

Jehovah makes those judgements, not we.

Nonsense. When Jehovah's Witnesses indicate that others might be "saved" who are not Jehovah's Witnesses, they leave the impression that you do not have to be a part of their organization to be saved, but this is not true:

Note the dark and deadly language aimed at those who will not join up, while giving the blissful, paradisaic images as rewards to those who strive hard to make it:

It is the satanic "air" breathed by the world today, the spirit, or general mental inclination, that characterizes his whole wicked system of things, the satanic thinking that permeates every aspect of life outside Jehovah’s organization. So in pouring out his bowl upon the air, the seventh angel expresses God’s wrath against Satan, his organization, and everything that motivates mankind to support Satan in defying Jehovah’s sovereignty. - Revelation-Climax, 1988, p. 234

29 If you are one of that great crowd, your good condition of heart will make you "cry out joyfully," no matter what you have to endure in the way of privations and pressures during the twilight years of Satan’s system. (Isaiah 65:14) In that sense, even now, the Lamb can ‘wipe out every tear from your eyes.’ No longer does God’s torrid "sun" of adverse judgment threaten you, and when the four winds of destruction are unleashed, you may be spared the "scorching heat" of Jehovah’s displeasure. After that destruction is over, the Lamb will guide you to benefit fully from the revitalizing "fountains of waters of life," these representing all the provisions that Jehovah makes for your gaining everlasting life. Your faith in the blood of the Lamb will be vindicated in that you will gradually be raised to human perfection. You of the great crowd will be unique among mankind as the "millions" that did not even have to die! In the fullest sense, every tear will have been wiped from your eyes.—Revelation 21:4. - Revelation-Climax, 1988, p. 127-128

Do Jehovah's Witnesses celebrate Christmas?

The celebration of the winter solstice on December 25 goes back to the ancient Roman practices of the Saturnalia. It is part of pagan sun worship. We do not celebrate pagan festivals. The Bible directs that we celebrate Jesus' death, not birth.

They are taught to make it appear their position is "neutral" in this matter, yet they describe the observance of it in very dark terminology! Note:

It is clear, therefore, that Jesus was not born on December 25. Rather, the available evidence points to about October 1 of 2 B.C.E. Hence, celebrating his birthday through Christmas observance on December 25 is totally inappropriate for those guided by the Holy Scriptures. - WT, 12/15/79, p. 5

We all need to face up to the fact that Christmas and its music are not from Jehovah, the God of truth. Then what is their source? Reason should suggest that they are from someone whose sole aim now is to mislead as many people as possible. The Bible tells us that this is the goal of Satan the Devil. So you can appreciate why Christmas and its trappings can be perfect tools for his efforts. They tickle the senses while blinding the mind to Bible-based truth. (2 Corinthians 4:4) Satan knows the powerful effect music has on humans. In diverse churches and temples around the earth he cunningly camouflages his God-dishonoring teachings and customs with sweet melodies and lovely lyrics. So why should it be different with Christmas music? - WT 12/15/83, p. 7

Are not your children deprived of the Christmas spirit?

Jehovah's Witnesses encourage love, familial association and charity throughout the year. Gift-giving and family association are not restricted to one day or time of year.

The main point to note is that they are not allowed to participate with other non-Witness children in any of their Christmas or holiday-related activities. So while the parents may or may not give gifts equivalent to the Christmas spirit during other times of the year, the child is being deprived of learning social and mechanical skills among his peers. It is one thing to dislike or make light of a holiday; it is quite another to ban it's observance in any form under pain of shunning, which is spiritual death.

Do you respect other religions? If so, why do you go from house to house trying to convert people?

The Bible has good news for people of all religions and backgrounds- - the good news that God will soon bring peace to earth through his Kingdom. We want to share this with our neighbors.

Hardly a happy message! If they don't accept the interpretations of the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses, they will suffer destruction at the hands of an angry God, who will save only the Witnesses in the end:

Do you teach that it is better to die than take a blood transfusion?

I do not want myself or my children to die. I want the best medical treatment I can get for my child. Blood transfusions carry many death-dealing side effects such as AIDS. We prefer to accept safer medical alternatives.

Like most loving parents, Witnesses will do whatever it takes to heal their child, but will fall short of disobeying the Watchtower in their rulings on blood (with frequent exceptions). Exceptions usually involve a scenario whhere the doctor arranges to "force" a transfusion on them, supposedly to relieve the Witness of the painful decision. Yet, to even allow the doctor to "force" his will upon them will possibly get them disfellowshipped, so they face an agonizing decision no matter which decision they make.

They know that if they violate God's law on blood and the child dies in the process, they have endangered that child's opportunity for everlasting life in God's new world. - Blood, Medicine and the Law of God, 1961, p. 54

It may result in the immediate and very temporary prologation of life, but that at the cost of eternal life for a dedicated Christian. - Blood, Medicine and the Law of God, 1961, p. 55

How do you know there are alternatives?

Our church regularly reproduces medical information that points out alternatives. Besides, I have discussed this with my doctor who is willing to use the alternatives.

The Watchtower has been quite arbitrary on the issue of "alternatives," not to speak of changing their stance on organ transplants, vaccines, etc. over the years. The current teachings are described in Revisions on the Blood Issue, from the Jan/Feb 1997 issue of the Free Minds Journal.

It is also interesting to note that several elders in good standing with the Watchtower Society have decided on a class-action suit against the Watchtower involving wrongful death, when certain deaths could have been avoided (where no alternatives would work). They even have a web site regarding this matter.

There is also a review of the "bloodless surgery" video sent out free of charge by the Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles, by Marlene Mercado, a former Witness who works in the field of blood medicine.

What if a doctor said there are no alternatives?

That is only one opinion. Jehovah's Witnesses know from experience that there are many different medical opinions. Also we know of many cases where the same thing was said but the patient still recovered without blood transfusion. Jehovah's Witnesses are being treated successfully without blood by doctors and hospitals throughout North America.

Make sure the court knows that in some cases there really are no alternatives, when the cell count drops below a certain level. Then using the "Watchtower-approved alternatives" becomes a much higher health risk than taking a blood transfusion!

It could also be noted that there are "alternative" ways to look at what the Bible really says about blood, that it was to be poured out in respect for the loss of life that resulted in killing an animal in biblical times! Hardly an appropriate model when the blood would represent the SAVING of a life! This is the most obvious descrepancy in the Witness doctrine, in misrepresenting the point of the Old Testament ban on blood. Precisely why even orthodox Jews today will accept a blood transfusion but will refuse to drink blood! That blood was given back to God as a partial "offering" in respect for the fact that the animal had to be killed so that they might eat and live. To "offer" the blood to God by not granting a blood transfusion to a dying Witness is a mockery of God's love and compassion as represented in the Bible.

** This is a good point to remember when talking to a Witness about this subject: "It is not that we are ignoring God's law on blood, but rather that YOU as a Jehovah's Witnesses are committing the same type of crime as described in Mark 7:11:

9 Further, he went on to say to them: "Adroitly YOU set aside the commandment of God in order to retain YOUR tradition. 10 For example, Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Let him that reviles father or mother end up in death.’ 11 But YOU men say, ‘If a man says to his father or his mother: "Whatever I have by which you may get benefit from me is corban, (that is, a gift dedicated to God,)"’— 12 YOU men no longer let him do a single thing for his father or his mother, 13 and thus YOU make the word of God invalid by YOUR tradition which YOU handed down. And many things similar to this YOU do." (New World Translation, Ref. edition)

The "religious leaders" and pious people of the day would deny the needs of life to their own relatives while "offering" such material possessions up to God as a sacrifice: An appropriate parallel to the Watchtower position. The point can be made that they are mocking God by their stance, not honoring him.

Also, it must be noted that recent statements regarding "alternatives" to blood come with mixed and somewhat confusing rules, as shown in the article, Revisions on the Blood Issue, as mentioned above.

This section of the Watchtower's booklet is the "Sample Cross-Examination Questions For Non-Witness Parent" and a list of questions that a Witness' attorney may use in cross-examining the non-Witness parent, in order to demonstrate that the parent is biased in his/her understanding of the Watchtower's position, and that they may not be fit parents for custody of the children. The text of the booklet is always represented in black type font, and my comments are made in red. Quotations from Watchtower publications will appear in green text. Most of my comments are contained in the sections designated as "sample responses" by the Watchtower.

Certain words throughout the booklet will be highlighted in blue and underlined, and is my way of conveying to you some counter points regarding what the Watchtower is saying. Just click once on the blue text, and you can read my comments on their statement.

Randall Watters

SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON WITNESS PARENT

Work:

Where do you work?
How far is your work place from your home?
What time do you leave for work?
What are your hours of work?
What times would the child require day-care assistance of a neighbour? friend? relative?
Is your spouse home at those same times?
Is a neighbour/friend/relative to be preferred over the child's mother/father for day-care?

Jehovah's Witnesses' role as parents and spouse...

A) Parent:

Does your spouse prepare meals for the family?
Does your spouse do family laundry?
Does your spouse care well for the home? (i.e., provide a neat home, do maintenance, etc.)
Does your spouse care well for the children?
Does your spouse wake the children in the morning?
Does your spouse dress the children in the morning?
Does your spouse prepare breakfast for the children?
Does your spouse prepare lunch for the children?
Does your spouse prepare supper for the children?
Does your spouse take the children to school?
Does your spouse take care of the children when they are sick?
Is your spouse at home when the children return from school?

Does your spouse put the children to bed?
Does your spouse take an interest in the children's education?
Does your spouse spend time helping the children with their education/homework in school?
Does your spouse visit the schoolteachers?
Does your spouse attend the school on parent/teacher night?
Do you attend the school on parent/teacher nights?
When was the last time you attended the school on parent/teacher night?
Does your spouse engage in recreation with your children? Which? When?
Do your children love your spouse?
Does your spouse love your children?
Wouldn't you agree that your children need both their mother and their father?
Is your spouse a good parent?
Would you describe your spouse as a good man/woman?
Describe your spouse's good qualities.

If non-Witness alleges Witness spouse has made church more important than family:

This is where the JW will attempt to show his/her religion to be reasonable and having reasonable demands, while possibly claiming the non-JW spouse's response to his/her religion as unreasonable and bigoted. My comments in red and the quotations from the Watchtower publications in green text will help demonstrate that if anything, the Witnesses are taught to be unreasonable, constrictive and often unfair.

Has your spouse put his/her church ahead of family? Give examples.

The court wants to see that the child's welfare is not put in jeapardy by one of the parents neglecting their responsibilities to the children by spending such time in religious pursuits. In the case of the Witnesses, attendance is expected at 5 meetings per week, plus studying Watchtower publications and going out in their door-to-door work. This adds up to 12 hours or more per week expected of a good Witness. In conclusion: If the Witness lives up to the expectations of his/her religion, he/she will most likely be neglecting some vital aspect of training or nurturing the children.

What you really mean is she will not let you dictate what church she goes to?

More often than not, the issue is what church the children go to, not the parent(s).

B) Spouse:

How did spouse's conversion to Jehovah's Witnesses harm his/her sexual relationship with you?

The Governing Body has attempted on occasion to dictate what is and is not acceptable in the marriage bed. Many Witness women divorced their non-JW husbands or were divorced because they would not participate in oral sex or some other variant on "missionary sex." Below is reproduced some of the critical text from two major articles on the issue of "oral sex," etc.:

Questions from Readers

... Some have contended, however, that absolutely anything done between husband and wife is permissible. However, that view is not supported in the Bible. In Romans 1:24-32, where it speaks of both men and women who participated in immoral sex practices, including lesbian and sodomite acts, the Bible mentions a "natural use of the female." Thus it shows that to indulge in such perverted use of the reproductive organs so as to satisfy a covetous desire for sexual excitement is not approved by God. This would also be true in connection with married couples; they should not pervert this "natural use of the female." In many places even the law of the land backs this up, making certain acts between husband and wife illegal. For example, speaking about the United States, Time of August 8, 1969, observed: "Sodomy is illegal in nearly every state, even between spouses." (Those who have not learned how such perversions are practiced ought to be grateful for that, for Jehovah God urges Christians to "be babes as to badness."—1 Cor. 14:20.)

In view of their mutual needs marital relations are a way for husband and wife to express tender love and deep affection for each other. Would it be consistent with that selfishly to ask one’s mate to share in a degradation of the reproductive organs, acting in a way that the mate found to be repulsive, just so as to gratify one’s own senses? Would that be the tender, loving course? No sane person would abuse his or her own human body, or force upon it a practice that was revolting. The Scriptures speak of husband and wife as one flesh. (Eph. 5:28-31) So would a sane and loving husband or wife request sex acts that the other mate rightly regarded as unnatural and disgusting? Obviously authority over the body of one’s mate is not unlimited or unaffected by Bible principles.—1 Cor. 7:1-5; Prov. 5:15-19.

Sometimes individuals feel that self-control as to sex is necessary for a single person but that once one is married it is not needed. This view, however, is not correct. Self-control is a fruit of the spirit and it should be manifested in all of one’s dealings. (Gal. 5:22, 23) The fact that usually the male has the greater sexual desire suggests that he display a greater measure of self-control, even though his wife lovingly wants to satisfy him. He should assign her "honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one." (1 Pet. 3:7) And in part he can do this by recognizing that her sexual nature is different from his. Dwelling with her "according to knowledge," he ought not think only of quickly satisfying himself however and whenever he wants, but he should be considerate of her both physically and emotionally. - WT 12/15/69, p. 765-766

and also the following in full:

Questions from Readers

• Recently in the news was a court decision ruling that oral copulation by adults is no longer punishable by law in a certain state. Would such practice therefore be solely a matter for individual conscience if engaged in by a Christian couple within the marriage arrangement?—U.S.A.

It is not the purpose of this magazine to discuss all the intimate aspects of marital relations. Nonetheless, practices like those involved in this court case have become quite common and have received considerable publicity. Even young children in certain schools are being informed of these things in sex education courses. We would therefore be remiss as regards our responsibility if we held back Scriptural counsel that could aid sincere Christians in their efforts to follow a course of purity calling forth the Creator’s blessing. Unusual sexual practices were being carried on in the apostle Paul’s day and he did not remain silent about them, as can be seen in reading Romans 1:18-27. We are therefore only following his good example in considering this question here.

In discussing sexual practices, the apostle provides us a principle that helps us to reach a right conclusion. He refers to "the natural use of the female," which some were abandoning in favor of what is "contrary to nature," thus satisfying "disgraceful sexual appetites" and "working what is obscene." The apostle specifically deals with homosexual practices, condemning such. But the principle stated—that the satisfying of sexual desires can be "natural" or can be "contrary to nature"—applies just as well to the question under consideration.—See also Leviticus 18:22, 23.

The natural way for a married couple to have sexual relations is quite apparent from the very design given their respective organs by the Creator, and it should not be necessary to describe here how these organs complement each other in normal sexual copulation. We believe that, aside from those who have been indoctrinated with the view that ‘in marriage anything goes,’ the vast majority of persons would normally reject as repugnant the practice of oral copulation, as also anal copulation. If these forms of intercourse are not "contrary to nature," then what is? That those practicing such acts do so by mutual consent as married persons would not thereby make these acts natural or not "obscene." Are we being ‘narrow’ or ‘extreme’ in taking such position?

No, as seen by the fact that several states of the United States have for long had laws against precisely such practices, classifying them as forms of "sodomy"—even though those engaging in them are married. Because of this legal usage, Webster’s Third New International Dictionary includes in its definition of "sodomy" this: "carnal copulation with a member of the same sex or with an animal or unnatural carnal copulation with a member of the opposite sex; specif: the penetration of the male organ into the mouth or anus of another." Of course, dictionaries and state laws differ but our position is based primarily upon God’s Word the Bible. Yet such worldly evidence serves a certain purpose, one corresponding in principle to what the apostle said at 1 Corinthians 5:1. There he showed that the sexual relations of one member in the Corinthian congregation were of a kind condemned even by people of the pagan nations. So, the application of the term "sodomy" in modern times to the mentioned forms of copulation shows that we are not unreasonable in saying they are not only "unnatural" but grossly so.

However, since marriage is of divine origin, our conscientious stand on marital relations is not founded on or ruled by worldly views. Therefore the overruling of some state law and the declaring of oral copulation (or similar unnatural copulation) as ‘legal’ does not alter our Bible-based position. In a world of decaying morals we can expect that some law courts may succumb in varying degrees to the growing trend toward sexual perversion, just as some of the clergy and doctors have done.

It is not our purpose to attempt to draw a precise line as to where what is "natural" ends and what is "unnatural" begins. But we believe that, by meditating on Bible principles, a Christian should at least be able to discern what is grossly unnatural. In other areas, the Christian’s individual conscience will have to guide, and this includes questions regarding caresses and ‘love play’ prior to intercourse. (Compare Proverbs 5:18, 19.) But even here the Christian who wants to produce the fruits of God’s holy spirit will wisely avoid practices that approach, or could easily lead one to fall into, unnatural forms of copulation.

What if certain married couples in the congregation in the past or even in recent times have engaged in practices such as those just described, not appreciating till now the gravity of the wrong? Then they can seek God’s forgiveness in prayer and prove their sincere repentance by desisting from such gross unnatural acts.

It is certainly not the responsibility of elders or any others in a Christian congregation to search into the private lives of married couples. Nevertheless, if future cases of gross unnatural conduct, such as the practice of oral or anal copulation, are brought to their attention, the elders should act to try to correct the situation before further harm results, as they would do with any other serious wrong. Their concern is, of course, to try to help those who go astray and are ‘caught in the snare of the Devil.’ (2 Tim. 2:26) But if persons willfully show disrespect for Jehovah God’s marital arrangements, then it becomes necessary to remove them from the congregation as dangerous "leaven" that could contaminate others.—1 Cor. 5:6, 11-13.

What of Christian women married to unbelievers and whose mates insist on their sharing in such grossly unnatural acts? Does the apostle’s statement that "the wife does not exercise authority over her own body, but her husband does" give a wife the basis for submitting to these demands? (1 Cor. 7:4) No, for such husbandly authority is only relative. God’s authority remains always supreme. (1 Cor. 11:3; Acts 5:29) The apostle, furthermore, was speaking of normal sexual relations, as the context indicates. True, refusal to engage in unholy acts may bring hardship or even persecution on a wife, but the situation is the same as if her husband demanded that she engage in some form of idolatry, in misuse of blood, dishonesty or other such wrong.

Millions of married couples throughout the earth, both in the past and in the present, have found that unselfish love brings joy and full satisfaction, for both partners, in marital relations, without resorting to perverted methods. Realizing that a corrupt world is soon to be wiped away, we can think on the words of the apostle Peter, who wrote: "Since all these things are thus to be dissolved, what sort of persons ought you to be in holy acts of conduct and deeds of godly devotion, awaiting and keeping close in mind the presence of the day of Jehovah." Yes, this is not the time to be slipping into, or letting others beguile or pressure us into, unholy practices just to satisfy selfish passion. Not if we truly cherish our hope of living in the fresh, clean new order now so near. (2 Pet. 3:11, 12; Jude 7) So, Christian married couples can keep ‘the marriage bed without defilement,’ not only by refraining from fornication and adultery, but also by avoiding defiling, unnatural practices.—Heb. 13:4. - WT 12/1/72, p. 734-736

Did your spouse refuse the marital due?

see above

Have you been very upset since your spouse has become one of Jehovah's Witnesses?

Witnesses will try to characterize their opponents as "angry" with them, in order to make it appear that they have a personal problem. While this is possible, it is even more likely that this is a Witness' attempt to steer the conversation away from the issue of corrupted institutions.

Might your angry attitude have an adverse emotional effect on your spouse?

Sure, if that is really the case. If you have conceded to being "angry" with her and the organization, then it is obvious that such would affect the mate adversely. If it isn't the case, make your point clear!

Is it surprising your spouse would find it difficult in view of your attitude of intolerance and animosity?

If you have already conceded to being angry with your mate and the Watchtower, then you have now been upgraded to an "intolerant" person with a lot of "animosity!" If not, this point is irrelevant.

Is your spouse hospitable?
Does your spouse entertain your friends and family?
Isn't it true that your spouse is friendly and has good relationships with your family members?
Did your spouse suggest family counselling?
Wasn't he/she willing to attend family counselling?
Why did you reject family counselling?
Is it not correct that your children become upset when they observe angry interchanges between their parents?
Is it not true that your children are disturbed and upset by your separation from your spouse?

Corporal punishment:

Do you discipline your children?
Do you ever spank your children?

Holidays:

How has your spouse actively discouraged children from sharing in Christmas, etc., with yourself?

The Watchtower actively discourages children from having anything to do with Christmas or other "worldy" holidays. Good Witness mothers always pass on that attitude to their children.

Has your spouse prevented you from having your friends into the home?
Has your spouse ever invited people into the home over the Christmas period?
Has your spouse ever asked you to make a meal during this period?

Does your spouse give gifts to children at Christmas?

Do they accept gifts?

Ironically, although Witnesses will not give gifts at Christmastime, they will usually accept them from others, especially their employers.

Does your spouse prevent you from sharing in such celebrations with the children?

Often the JW mate demands that no holidays be observed, as they are viewed as "satanic." Again quoted:

Blood:

As a preface, I will cite David Reed's comments regarding his book, Blood On The Altar:

My book BLOOD ON THE ALTAR references an article in the October 15, 1993 WATCHTOWER (page 32) where the Watchtower Society admits that 16 studies involving 1,404 operations on Jehovah's Witnesses reveal a mortality rate between 0.5 percent and 1.5 percent attributed to refusing blood. The WT scoffs at that number as insignificantly small. But if you multiply a small percentage by millions of people, or the fraction of those millions who undergo operations, you still end up with a LOT of people dead. Here is how you can explain it:

(1) The October 15, 1993 WATCHTOWER (page 32) admits a mortality rate between 0.5 percent and 1.5 percent attributed to refusing blood in major surgery.

(2) That averages out to a 1 percent death rate for refusing blood.

(3) So, for every 100 JWs undergoing routine major surgery, one dies as a direct result of refusing blood.

(4) Out of the 13,000,000 attending Kingdom Halls, how many JWs have such routine major surgery?

(5) Multiply that number by 1/100 and it will give some idea of the number of JWs dying for refusing blood.</